A Hug!

I felt your being, your soul, your past and your future. I felt at home, you were my home at that moment… You know they said that time was an illusion and that it’s non-existent, I never understood what they meant, time had stopped for me, until I hugged you. Like a silent prayer I ask you, hug me for a while longer…

                The concept of hugs and hugging was still an unusual notion for me, but when I was in India, it became a norm. Why and How? Simply to put it down in words, it happened in the moments were words failed to express, the moments were when the throat was thick to speak and the eyes were blurry with tears, lips trembling up and down between sadness and happiness, it’s in these moments were bodies were leaning with an embrace towards each other disregard of any efforts of doing so. Moments were bodies cried for embrace, it is the simple moment of when a Hug comes into play. Where the rib cages colliding and the hearts meet. Forgive me, let me rephrase that, it’s when the hearts SPEAK.  

                I have been away from home at that time for almost 6 months; it was the longest time me being that long away from my family. My heart was racing as the plane landed, and almost stopped as I walked outside the gate towards the airport’s exit and I saw my parents and siblings waiting for me in the hallway. We have a Lebanese culture of greeting each other, we kiss, we kiss a lot. So the traditional way of greeting each other would be three kisses on the cheeks with one or two arms on the person’s shoulders depending how much you’re close, or how much you miss that person. Having that in my mind, a didn’t want their kisses I wanted to feel and embrace their beings. I rushed towards my mom at the beginning; I saw tears in her eyes from a distance as I walked towards here, I increased my pace and thrusted jumping into her arms embracing her with a hug. She took it in of course but not how I expected her to, she then went back to the tradition of kisses, I mean that was how she was taught to express love and affection, that was her way, her language... I then turned to my father and embraced him with the same, his reaction was a bit poorer than my mother, he didn’t know how to react he then went back to the same tradition, same case with my brother. I won’t hide it, I was a bit disappointed and my soul wasn’t satisfied. My expression for love and receiving in return was not yet fulfilled.  I kept my tradition and set the old one off. I embraced friends and families with my new tradition of a hug, I got similar responses to the ones of my family, however I remember two of my cousins expressed that they preferred the hug, they leaned forward for a kiss, I by responded with a rushed settling hug instead, it was a strange thing for them but they soon breathed it all in and felt it’s magic. I kept my tradition all the way long, it was part of my identity as an individual, as soul that’s always thirsty for giving and receiving love without any limits or expectations.

                Fast forward,, 3 years later… I came home to the gentle south today after a long hectic week in the city, and after not seeing my family for a longer while… I arrived home and my dad was in the field checking on our baby trees, as soon as he saw me coming upwards towards our house on the road he walked to the front gate to meet me. I stepped down from the car and rushed to his arms for an embrace, he hugged me tight this time, and still gave me a kiss, and I did too, I guess old traditions will never die, I guess hugs were part of this old tradition but soon had been forgotten. I felt my father’s soul, we spoke without saying anything, our hearts spoke.  I knocked our door and my sister opened, the initial reaction was a mutual hug, and we hugged some more. Our hug lasted for almost 3 good minutes, we swayed and breathed, she was my home and I was hers, it is a cold winter day, it kept us warm too, not the kind of warmth that you’d physically feel only, but also the one that you’d feel it glowing from the inside. I then went to my mother and embraced her, we also spoke without saying a thing, despite her being occupied with her art in creating food, she had time for an embrace and satisfying hug. Followed by my brother eventually, surprising me with his sincere hug… It just hit me! They got it, they spoke other language of love eventually and it was beautiful… My heart had to knock the doors of their hearts and embrace their souls, it happened naturally and effortlessly. It immediately healed the accumulated fatigue of the week.

                The cherry on the top of the cake was that my friend that I met in India that I haven’t seen since 3 years was in the south with my aunt, she had to pick her up from the airport since I couldn’t.  Soon I heard the car arriving, I dashed down to meet her. She spoke the language of love and embrace, with my accent. The moment the door opened, I swear that I felt her soul merging with mine before even her touching me, it felt as time had stopped. I can still see her face in my head, her eyes sparkling with light, a beaming smile anticipating to connect, and arms wide open ready to enter a different dimension. It was to strong… We met each other again the moment we hugged. The wave almost physically blew my hair; again it was something radiating from within… Our souls shared the stories again, we united again, we breathed, settled, welcomed, connected, loved, spoke, cried, laughed, shared, took a walk, sang, listened, reflected, swayed, and came back through that hug.