I felt your being, your soul, your past and your future.
I felt at home, you were my home at that moment… You know they said that time
was an illusion and that it’s non-existent, I never understood what they meant,
time had stopped for me, until I hugged you. Like a silent prayer I ask you,
hug me for a while longer…
The
concept of hugs and hugging was still an unusual notion for me, but when I was
in India, it became a norm. Why and How? Simply to put it down in words, it
happened in the moments were words failed to express, the moments were when the
throat was thick to speak and the eyes were blurry with tears, lips trembling
up and down between sadness and happiness, it’s in these moments were bodies
were leaning with an embrace towards each other disregard of any efforts of
doing so. Moments were bodies cried for embrace, it is the simple moment of
when a Hug comes into play. Where the rib cages colliding and the hearts meet.
Forgive me, let me rephrase that, it’s when the hearts SPEAK.
I have
been away from home at that time for almost 6 months; it was the longest time
me being that long away from my family. My heart was racing as the plane
landed, and almost stopped as I walked outside the gate towards the airport’s
exit and I saw my parents and siblings waiting for me in the hallway. We have a
Lebanese culture of greeting each other, we kiss, we kiss a lot. So the
traditional way of greeting each other would be three kisses on the cheeks with
one or two arms on the person’s shoulders depending how much you’re close, or
how much you miss that person. Having that in my mind, a didn’t want their
kisses I wanted to feel and embrace their beings. I rushed towards my mom at
the beginning; I saw tears in her eyes from a distance as I walked towards
here, I increased my pace and thrusted jumping into her arms embracing her with
a hug. She took it in of course but not how I expected her to, she then went
back to the tradition of kisses, I mean that was how she was taught to express
love and affection, that was her way, her language... I then turned to my father and embraced him with the
same, his reaction was a bit poorer than my mother, he didn’t know how to react
he then went back to the same tradition, same case with my brother. I won’t
hide it, I was a bit disappointed and my soul wasn’t satisfied. My expression
for love and receiving in return was not yet fulfilled. I kept my tradition and set the old one off.
I embraced friends and families with my new tradition of a hug, I got similar
responses to the ones of my family, however I remember two of my cousins
expressed that they preferred the hug, they leaned forward for a kiss, I by
responded with a rushed settling hug instead, it was a strange thing for them
but they soon breathed it all in and felt it’s magic. I kept my tradition all the
way long, it was part of my identity as an individual, as soul that’s always
thirsty for giving and receiving love without any limits or expectations.
Fast
forward,, 3 years later… I came home to the gentle south today after a long
hectic week in the city, and after not seeing my family for a longer while… I
arrived home and my dad was in the field checking on our baby trees, as soon as
he saw me coming upwards towards our house on the road he walked to the front
gate to meet me. I stepped down from the car and rushed to his arms for an
embrace, he hugged me tight this time, and still gave me a kiss, and I did too,
I guess old traditions will never die, I guess hugs were part of this old
tradition but soon had been forgotten. I felt my father’s soul, we spoke
without saying anything, our hearts spoke. I knocked our door and my sister opened, the
initial reaction was a mutual hug, and we hugged some more. Our hug lasted
for almost 3 good minutes, we swayed and breathed, she was my home and I was
hers, it is a cold winter day, it kept us warm too, not the kind of warmth that
you’d physically feel only, but also the one that you’d feel it glowing from
the inside. I then went to my mother and embraced her, we also spoke without
saying a thing, despite her being occupied with her art in creating food,
she had time for an embrace and satisfying hug. Followed by my brother
eventually, surprising me with his sincere hug… It just hit me! They got it,
they spoke other language of love eventually and it was beautiful… My heart
had to knock the doors of their hearts and embrace their souls, it happened
naturally and effortlessly. It immediately healed the accumulated fatigue of
the week.
The
cherry on the top of the cake was that my friend that I met in India that I
haven’t seen since 3 years was in the south with my aunt, she had to pick her
up from the airport since I couldn’t.
Soon I heard the car arriving, I dashed down to meet her. She spoke the
language of love and embrace, with my accent. The moment the door opened, I
swear that I felt her soul merging with mine before even her touching me, it
felt as time had stopped. I can still see her face in my head, her eyes sparkling
with light, a beaming smile anticipating to connect, and arms wide open ready to
enter a different dimension. It was to strong… We met each other again the
moment we hugged. The wave almost physically blew my hair; again it was
something radiating from within… Our souls shared the stories again, we united
again, we breathed, settled, welcomed, connected, loved, spoke, cried, laughed,
shared, took a walk, sang, listened, reflected, swayed, and came back through
that hug.
