My India: Home is a feeling (Part Finale)

Anand and me, Tableland lake, Panchgani, India 

My India(Quiet Day) Part III

Tableland, Panchgani, India, Sunrise... Taken from my phone...

Today I can say is a turning point in my life in terms of awareness and realization; it was the quiet day in the center-Asia Plateau-India, At least for the interns and their coordinators. It all started by a gathering at 6:00 o’clock in the morning in front of the reception area, knowing that my greatest enemy is waking up early especially in cold days, but this time was different, this time I was so interested and curious of the quiet day, I truly needed it because the past few days I was in a reflective mode, didn't feel like talking to anyone, or looking at anyone’s face, I wanted to be alone, to see what’s going inside, why this pain, why this feeling of loneliness and emptiness, what triggered it, what was lying behind it. So I spent almost 3 hours in the Mami Room or the prayer room, just reflecting in silence and reading a book on energies and emotions, so a quiet day was the perfect fit for inner exploration. The instructions were clear, no talking, no eye contact, no touching, no phone, laptops, internet or other gadgets, and finally fasting and having only fruit and water which was optional. The quiet time was from 6:00am till 3:00pm, and he had to meet in the Mami room for sharing. So going back to the reception area, the plan was to gather there, no contact of any and march to table land which is the plateau, India’s largest Plateau. I was the first to arrive then came Jayang, one of the coordinators, it wasn’t hard to ignore, and the rest started coming but not all so it was 6:00 and I didn’t want to wait, should I wait or move on a certain queue or signal? Hell, it’s my day am free and free means no restrictions, so I started marching, and I could then hear footsteps behind me so we all started moving, the dawn was slightly dark and very cold. We walked for 15 min and reached the beginning of the Table Land, not a single word, not a look to the face. I headed to my favorite spot a narrowed cliff at the end of the Plateau, an open space, a perfect view of my world, isolated and not visible. As I reached there and sat in my spot, I felt Athalia(our coordinator) five meters away on my left and Fatima on my right, guess it wasn’t invisible enough and wasn’t my favorite spot alone. I sat there holding my backpack like a shield, to protect me from the freezing wind striking that edge, I was trying to relax but that was hard, but the view was breath taking that made me oversee the wind for a while. And out of nowhere a shattered circle appeared with a very light orange pinkish color, it was the sun rising and boy it was quick, growing larger and brighter, and higher. I teared up, that was my initial response, witnessing such perfection, such harmony, and divinity. My pain that I had for two days triggered that, I felt connected in a way that am not quite sure of, but still felt at peace eventually because I was one, and present. The beauty of the sun rising is my purpose, and the cold striking wind are the challenges that am facing. I sat there till I couldn’t take it anymore, it was so cold and windy that it was hard to open my eyes, plus I needed some privacy and a space of me being. I got up and started moving, exploring the place, walking through dried ponds, and passing through ones that still were there, so peaceful. I reached to another side of the Plateau, and there was a separate cliff that I needed to jump to reach there, and I did, the view was spectacular still cold, sat for few minutes and looked for another spot, at the time I was marching I could see my friends from a long distance, scattered, I was curious about who’s where and what spots they are in, even though I wanted to be isolated but still, my nature is to be with others, and I am always curious about others around. So there was another cliff with a beautiful view of the river, reflecting the sun, not so windy and the ground is relatively soft. I sat down, and the sun was rising, warmth increasing but still cold. I was relaxed, I was with myself finally. What’s on my mind, anything to do? No. Pressure? No. Time track?  None. It was the perfect space for looking deep inside.It was the moment of truth, what I felt was the present, as simple as that, no past and no future, first time in life. With nothing but my backpack, water, four bananas, and my thoughts. I allowed all of my feelings to come to the surface, all of my thoughts to wonder, at the beginning it was so crowded, all wanted to be heard, all wanted to come out, and I listened! I listened with my heart. No over-thinking, no judgments, no assessment, no calculations, no fears, no answers, no questions and no expectations, just listening. And oh boy! Such a joy, how silly my fears were, how silly my concerns were, how minor my problems. After all of that, a huge wave of gratitude came, filling my heart and soul, it was overwhelming that I had to lay down on the ground, took off my shoes, I wanted my feet to be rooted to the ground, and my back pack supporting my head. I held a small stone in my hand and the sunlight was covering the grass in front of my eyesight, shinning with a golden glow, dancing on the melody of the wind. That stone made me feel so real and present, I didn’t want to let it go, and I was banging it to a bigger rock next to me, such a beautiful sound, and such a beautiful existence. I closed my eyes, slept for I don’t know how long, but I dreamt, it was blank and peaceful, a dream never experienced before. At the cliff my world stopped, and felt whole, I felt am not part of any, but I am the any itself. I had some bananas and water and sat down. Took my shirt off, wanted sun, I wanted warmth, I was free. Sat and meditated feeling the energy of my surrounding, of the whole universe, or at least my understanding of it. After a long while, I stood up, put my shirt on, and had a walk barefooted, wandering around, through some stones, imagining that am transferring all of the negativity to that stone in my hand, and making it fly away. I packed my stuff and went for a walk to explore more. No one was in sight, so I walked to another edge, and sat with a different view and perspective. Down there was a field with trees and golden hay, dancing as the wind blew, no rhythm but a beautiful disarrangement. I Sat for a while and spotted one of my friends, Rufus, sitting on an edge next to me but I don’t think he saw me. Later on went on exploring the huge plateau and checking other spots. As I walked, I saw a pack of cows and Oxus, I was a bit afraid to be overwhelmed by any sudden movement by them. But I trusted them, why should I fear them? I am one with them, and I have joy in my heart so am sure they’ll sense that. Walked to the center of the Plateau because I felt that I need to be in the center and not the edges anymore. There was a small golden field of dried grass, laid down with my eyes closed, and took a brief nap, so warm, and comfortable. Pictures of my family just blossomed in my mind, and my loving family members, grandma, my aunts, and cousins, I felt at peace because I was surrounded by love, and then remembered my friends, international, and local ones, and the ones I met in India, it’s a true blessing, and I felt so grateful. I stood up again and decided to look around on my way back to the MRA center and my room. I walked down, bumped into people but didn’t initiate any gesture. Walked straight to my room, with such a mind full of amazement and peace from within, changed my cloths prepared some of the herbs that my mom sent from Lebanon. I rushed to my phone to check the time and it was 12:30, Sat on my bed, relaxed for a while, and decided to go out for a walk in the center. I went straight to a small pond sat there took off my slippers and dipped my toes in the water, with the fish tickling my toe tips. As I was sitting I spotted two kids playing with their bicycles, I felt this eagerness inside of me to ride the bike since it was my passion since I was a kid, it gave me a great sense of freedom. So I waved with my hands and smiled, they knew what I wanted, yes I broke the rule of eye contact but I trusted it and kids are pure, so they smiled back and lend me one of the bikes, I wandered around and raced with the other kid, a sense of ultimate freedom, being a kid again, and oh boy, we brutally kill our inner child now a days, for the sake of what we call maturity, blinded from the fact that they are the key to this life with their purity, honesty, and trust. Afterwards went again to my room and decided to take a nap, before the sharing and it was almost 2:00 so I had an hour. After an hour woke up and went straight to the Mami room. And everyone started coming, and the silence was broken by a bronze bell-like tool. And it was time to share by describing the feeling in one word, and mine was free. And from the sharing I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was looking for others, and being conscious about their presence, some had negative thoughts, some creative ideas, some got bored, others inspired, and some asked questions. And finally one of the sharing’s that caught me was one of my friends, Aris, he stated that when people passed by him and didn’t have contact with them and them with him, he felt invisible, but for me people felt invisible, and I felt that I am the one who existed.

To sum it, I’ll say it was one of the best experiences in my life, with a great lesson lying behind it which came from the realization that I am the one responsible for how I feel not others, and the world is my creation, its how I see and view it, meaning there isn’t any fixed reality to that. And most importantly is to find time for ourselves to settle and calm down, and just be with ourselves, with complete silence and allowing our emotions to flow through and never resist. We are truly just as present as the small stone on the ground, and we’ll find peace when we hold on to nothing and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to be weak, to dance thoroughly to the music played by winds. 

My India(Quiet Time)Part 2

And our journey started. After our carpet meeting we went on for a center tour, as I said the center is really huge and has stories behind every corner, and aunty Leena took us to uncover these stories and have a broader idea of what the center is all about and its history. A quick brief history, the center was built by an Australian guy called Mike brown who voluntarily built the whole center free of charge simply because he had a strong call about doing so. The area was a desert like place with only one tree standing and now it’s greener than ever, 80 percent of the forest self generated naturally and other trees were planted by hand. That single tree is standing strong there until now. Talking more about the location of the center, it’s located on a hill station previously a volcanic area with volcanic rocks all over the place. And the rest of the center was created out of donations and contributions of various people from all over the world. Starting from the Auditorium, a huge hall easily fitting more than 300 people, chairs being donated by people with their names inscribed on the back of every chair. With an old piano placed at the corner of the room, phone booths for translations during international conferences, a big stage for performances, presentations, and facilitation duties, huge water tanks under the auditorium designed for saving rain water during the monsoons, we use this water in the center for drinking and for other purposes. Heading to the foyer where small programs and icebreakers are usually held, along with the smiling Ghandi statue standing there, donated by the locals in Panchgani as a sign of appreciation of the place. Heading towards the African Lounge with an African theme filled with souvenirs of African portraits, handmade sculptures, musical instruments and Ghandi's wooden table in the center of the room donated by the Ghandi’s family, and several corners of tables and chairs . Next to that room, is the Asia Lounge of course with an Asian theme with corners of Cambodia, Afghanistan, China and several other countries. And at the end of that floor, the Australia room which was dedicated to Gordon Brown, named after him initially but he refused and wanted it to be named after his country and his people. It is a small conference room equipped with chairs, projector and a board, small conferences and workshops are held there. Then finally moving to the small bookstore room filled with IofC books that are for sale. Going up to the first floor is the small dining room and the big dining room. A story behind the wooden chairs and tables and how they were bought, how Uncle Suresh (Aunty Leena’s Husband) went for an auction to buy the wood for making these chairs and table, and the bid started and it was high and uncle Suresh had only a few thousand rupees on him, so he stood up on that pile of wood with a  voice of desperation explaining what these woods would be used for and what is all the center about so people aided him buying the wood and taking it to the center. Moving on to the kitchen which is the best part, where all of the goodies are made, a section for the veg-food and another section for the non-veg which was rarely used (unfortunately for me), and another section which is the wash-up area, in which everyone of all ages, titles, and races from different countries and religions simply do the wash up service i.e, doing the dishes and sorting them out after drying them, a symbolism of equality and unity. And then to the northeast room which is similar to the Australian room, a room for small conferences and workshops equipped with chairs and all technical stuff, with all of the northeastern theme which is the north east part of India including the seven sisters. 

And finally the heart of the center. The Mami room, or the prayers room, a circular room with jute carpets all over for absorbing sound and noises, with a huge old chandelier on the ceiling and short chairs encircling the room, and at the center is a small round table covered with books from all different faiths. What is it that makes that room so special? Well, it’s said to be the heart of the center, but not only that, it is the heart of the whole IofC concept, and whole IofC concept is based on a main Idea which is the quiet time or the time of silence. The time in which you remain silent and still with nothing in the world except for you and yourself, reflecting on what’s lying within and what’s inside, giving a chance to yourself to just shutdown and listen. Listen to what that small voice from inside is trying to say, craving to come out, the voice of conscious, the voice of the heart, the voice of God. It’s a practice of staying silent in the morning, writing whatever thoughts come to your mind, and sharing it with people around you or whom you trust or care about. It can happen at any time during the day not necessary the morning, it could be in the middle of the night, it could be in the middle of any time and space, but to make the process easier you create a space in the early morning were nothing can disrupt that peace, and you are having a clear mind. So it was definitely a part of our internship, quiet time every morning at 7:00am Monday, Wednesday, and Friday community quiet time, and on Tuesdays, and Thursdays personal quiet times. So during our first exposure to it, we gathered and sat down encircling the room, some of us sat on the chairs others on the ground, and started our quiet time sitting silently for almost an hour and then 15 minutes of sharing. Gosh it was exhausting and so boring I couldn’t stand to sit any longer, no thoughts came and waking up at 6:30am was enough by itself, it was cold and I was so sleepy and everyone is just sitting there with their notebooks writing stuff down I din’t what. The second day passed and quiet time came and the third and the fourth. I grabbed a book of mine and started reading it, just to distract myself. And it went this way for almost a month and the sharings that they shared didn’t interest me and I thought that they were so boring and superficial. So for me that was it, I had to do something and the issue was that it’s obligatory and I had to be there, all of us. I raised my complaint and we had a meeting, we sat down and started discussing it as a team, more like as a family the interns and the coordinators. And it seemed that it was only me who had an issue with the quiet time. My excuse was that it should be optional the sharings are being superficial and am not having any thoughts at all, and that am having my quiet time at night I don’t need it to be at the morning time. But apparently majority ruled and I was so upset and furious, they told me to give it more time, which made me more angry and resistant. And I developed a habit that I used to have earlier before coming to India which is judging and criticizing others. That also increased and created that ill feeling towards others making assumptions about their intentions and motives. So overall I wasn’t comfortable at all with my stay there everyone seemed so dull and superficial for me, we’re not doing anything besides workshops and center work and supporting other programs. Then during that first month Fatima approached me while we were working down stairs at the bookstore sorting books and arranging them accordingly, “you know I was thinking about going back home, I mean I feel like we’re not doing anything here”. That made me even more depressed and frustrated, “Fatima why would you want to give up now? We didn’t even start yet!”. Fooling myself even though I felt the same. I directly headed to our coordinator telling her how Fatima was feeling and I need your help, and deep down inside it was me who needed help and it was also me who wanted to also leave, but I was trying to be smart, fooling myself. Then we sat with one of the Ex- interns who came back as a volunteer, her name is Peno from Nagaland which is the northern east part of India . She sat with us both and said “You know what? I had exactly the same feeling you guys are having when I first came here I said to myself what the heck am I doing here? And I was ready to pack my stuff and just leave, I hated quiet times and didn't find any use of it. But later on things just shifted drastically not because of the situation, but because I shifted and changed drastically. I can’t tell you how or what happened because even I don’t know, but you’ll find your own way, everyone of us has their own way.” Her talk lifted our spirits up, and gave us hope.






Since day one in Panchgani, I was confronted by my emotions, starting by feelings such as fears, judgments, impatience, driven by my emotions and passion, Jealousy and possessiveness, all of which made me lose the sense of being present. The outcome was scary, self-destructive thoughts came, I started comparing myself to others, the need for recognition and attention, assessing my behaviors and how good I am by how much attention I got from the people surrounding me. My first challenge was judgments and dealing with judgments, mistaking them sometimes with instincts and institution with just pure judgments, with different intentions. I came to a realization that people are our mirrors, how we see them reflects what’s inside. I realized that when I used to harshly criticize or judge people, and despise them. But later on I started to love these people, so I was trying to find the reason behind that why? My friends used to point out, “you’ll be one day despising and condemning that person and the other day you’ll be like that person is amazing, he’s so pure so innocent, so inspiring”. Which made me think and question my emotions and thoughts, and then I came to know that I used to be pointing out the things that other people had and I condemned, already existed in me and I had them in me the whole time subconsciously, they reflected my fears, my doubts and insecurities, whenever I used to feel afraid or insecure I used to judge and blame it on others, which made me feel in power for brief moments. But later on not seeing that characteristic or trait in others, and starting to love these people, made me rethink and see things from different perspectives. I looked inside, and discovered that I had that trait in me, that’s why I can see it in others and relate to it with others, and only when I dealt with that trait within me, could I start to love these people thus loving myself in that certain corner and dealing with it… That realization made my relationships with others more and more clear, and it was bliss that I could see myself in others, and that if I despised certain things in that person then, it was a clear raised flag that I needed to start changing that thing within me in order to see that change in others. I used it as measuring tool for my behavior and  actions and it carved path for me to change and move along that rail of inner change. And that was my start. One of the locks unlocked. And one of the keys found. So is it an instinct or a judgment? Seeing that in others, and feel that intention in others? Well, it’s only us who decide that. If we reacted and acted upon that judgment and expressed it then it would turn into negativity, forcing the other person to go under a defensive position and draining your energy, but if we kept it inside of and observed, waiting for the right opportunities to help and be there for that person then that’s when it turns into an instinct and a gift. It’s an amazing ability and bliss to feel other people’s emotions and intentions, but it’s a split, opposite ends, a choice between to suffer or blossom, to react or respond.






The second emotion that I had to deal with was jealousy. And boy I learned that the hard way. I felt like a horrible person after the realization but soon I looked up again at the bright side and the gift jealousy had to bring. I used to feel that cancer consuming my soul, fed by jealousy and fake ego, and the problem is that if I decided not go up, I would pull people down and prevent them from rising, and if they did, I criticized them. But by time I realized that my behavior had zero effect on others but tremendous one on myself. It made me compare myself with others, underestimating myself and abilities, not recognizing and embracing my uniqueness and differentiation from others. I wanted what they had, and do what they did, neglecting my true path and true self, it was like my soul stopped in the middle of the road and my ego went out to reach for others paths, neglecting my own and shutting down what God had given me. But I chose to recognize my gifts and what God had given me, to cherish my path and embrace it, and it opened my eye to that my soul which was the missing puzzle piece for that path. I then came to realize after talking to Rhea, that this feeling comes when we see the beauty in others and in their actions, and deep down inside wanting that beauty, why? Well, because it already exists deep down in us, but it just needs time and space to blossom and open up. So we have options, to act open when we feel jealous, either to hate, judge, hold down, and condemn, sending the message to the universe that am not strong enough to handle what that person have and I don’t, and I want it now!, or we can respond by recognizing other’s gifts and success, and appreciating them for that, sending a message to the universe that “yes, I see that beauty, and am so grateful for recognizing that, and I would like to have it someday please”.






All of these emotions and more kept me feeling off balance, not focused on my track, and drifted me away from my true self and purpose of being. I lost the sense of being, of living in the present, and it’s one of the most destructive things to do, to be floating with our negativity, so engaged with our emotions that blinds us from our realities, distracting us from the reality that we want, falling into one that we created that doesn’t serve or fit what we are meant to be in. I say it’s a thing that am still struggling with, but the difference is that I have started to recognize it, and stopped over thinking stuff, letting them be, and not resisting, allowing all circumstances in and feeling all of the needed emotions, experiencing them and learning from them. Not worrying about the future, but trusting what’s going to happen, hope for the best and be positive about it, no matter how dark it might seem, or how unclear it might be, but be open to what’s coming and what’s going to happen. I think about how stuck I used to feel and how the situation seemed impossible, but yet, I had his uneasy joy inside that something is coming, that something is going to happen, something is waiting for me, I am meant to serve and fulfill. Despite all of the lonely nights, all of the crowded people around me and none that I can connect with, despite of sleeping in the dark with my music on, I used to smile, I used to feel what’s coming. I hugged my fears, and waited. My path started to show and lighten up, people started illuminating around me like beautiful lanterns and flying up high in the sky guiding me to my way. What lied within me started to unlock, allowing others hearts to unlock, and allowing that sparkle to grow, I am the creation of others handprints on my soul that helped it grow. As if we’re all sleeping in a deep sleep from an endless universal war, and waking up slowly to go back to our source, our source of unity, the ultimate perfection and enlightenment. And the learning never ends, and our growth never stops.






I had all of these thoughts and emotions within me and they came up when I sat quietly with myself, triggering all of these things, which at one point made me run away from quiet time. Stillness terrified me, chased that demon inside of me that was feeding on my soul the whole time. Later on, as the months passed during my stay, I discovered that stillness and that time of silence were the ultimate gift that I can give to myself. As my best friend, and my brother used to say, “we need to bath constantly to clean ourselves from outside, okay, but what about the inside? Quiet time is then our inner shower and we need it more frequently to constantly clean ourselves from within”. And as uncle Suresh used to say, “Add an edge to your life and make it extra-ordinary and that extra-ordinary is the quiet time”. And writing our thoughts down is indeed a spiritual practice, it grounds them down and it helps them to shape. When I started writing my thoughts down and sharing them with others that day, I went to the office to bring some markers and what I saw on the table there was a small advertisement logo for a paper company saying “Thoughts shape up when you put them down.” And that was God’s way of speaking to me and showing me signs that I was too blind to see and too deaf to hear.





The Third phase of my stay was the greatest bliss that God had showed me, that gift of love of giving and receiving love. Not any kind of love but the type that is beyond my needs, the type that makes you feel beautifully vulnerable and naked, embracing your weaknesses and growing side by side with the people that you love, making the only language of communication, the language of the eyes and the unspoken words while the music of silence is being played. It’s so divine that putting it down in words would be the toughest job to do.(To be continued).

My India(Room 614) Part 1

It’s been six months since I went to India. Now, am back home in Lebanon, sitting in the living room of my home, listening to my music and writing down what’s on my mind. I really miss it big time, India was so gentle and kind to me, it offered me the best of its people, taught me a lot of lessons, and literally changed the course of my life. I have decided to write down all the highlights of my experience and share it with everyone, to keep this memory alive in my heart and in the hearts of others. It changed me drastically, I learned what it meant to truly love and I felt it like I had never loved that way before, it taught me how to step out of my personal needs and care genuinely for others, teaching me the pure and rare feeling of Joy and happiness. My heart is filled with nothing but gratefulness and love. But still, I truly miss it all. But as my brother, my second half used to say learn to breath it in and it’ll vibrate to the hearts of others.

 How I got to know about initiatives of change? Well it all started with a Facebook link that was on my professor’s page,  IofC internship on leadership and communication skills in Switzerland. Initiatives of change, Change starts from oneself. Sounded very interesting and an amazing opportunity to seize. I applied along with four of my friends including my friend Fatima. We didn't have high hopes but we felt positively about it. We received our emails about the interview dates, went to Beirut to the main office there, and gave our interviews. Coming out we all felt so challenged, intimidated by the participants there. The bars were raised really high, most of them graduate students with strong references. But still I had some hope. Couple of weeks later I received an email that I was accepted. I kneeled down laughing not knowing how to react, filled with joy. But I had to call my friends and check-up on them, only one got accepted and it wasn't Fatima. I felt really bad and so upset, because we were in it together. A few days later, Fatima texted me saying that there’s an internship in India as well, and oh boy, I felt strongly about it, a stronger feeling than Swiss, because since I was a kid I always had these dreams about India as if I had this call, as if I knew something must be waiting for me there. So both me and Fatima applied. Not knowing what’s waiting for us but I fully trusted it from the deepest corner of my heart. And trusted what’s going to happen.

Am going to share about my journey in India. So we had our Skype interviews both me and Fatima, got accepted, applied for our visas, booked our tickets, and hopped on the plane. An almost 16 hours journey in the plane, from Lebanon to Sharjah airport,a waiting time of 8 hours, and then from Sharjah airport to Mumbai. We reached Mumbai, and first thing that caught my attention were the people there and I was really amazed I don’t know but I really had this strong feeling, I fell in love with the people and had a positive feeling about the whole thing. Took our luggage and went outside and saw the taxi driver with a small placard saying MRA Center IofC. This was our guy we followed him to the car and placed our luggage and started our engines, it was 4:30am. Our destination was Panchgani, where the center is, 6 hours away from Mumbai. We were exhausted and so sleepy. After a couple of hours of driving we started moving into the hilly areas with the sun slowly rising up, and the rain drizzling since it was the September the final month of the monsoons. I was amazed with scenery, a pitch greenery everywhere and lots of hills. It was beautiful, but I was so sleepy I tried to sleep but good lord the driver was insane didn't stop peeping his horn up and down, and moving left and right dogging and crossing cars. After almost five hours of driving and between sleeping and waking up, the scenery started changing, we were heading towards a more mountain like area, so green-the view was breath taking! And finally an hour later we reached Panchgani, and a billboard saying MRA Center. We reached there safely. The driver called informing them of our arrival. And there in front of a building the reception area stood, a guy who’s the receptionist turning out to be Sunjay, and our coordinator Aunty Leena. A warm welcoming they both gave, especially aunty Leena. The center was huge and so beautiful, looked so green and so fresh. Gardens were well maintained and everything was labeled. Then Aunty Leena took us to our buildings, and called on a person called Deng to help me with the bag to get to my room. I thought he used to work there, but it turned out to been intern from South Sudan. I went up to my room, took a shower, got myself refreshed and had a deep sleep. I opened my eyes slowly and I saw a guy standing at the end of my bed smiling, he creeped me out to be honest. Then he started apologizing for waking me up and he introduced himself as Tenzin from Tibet, my roommate, and said "sorry for waking you but I was just checking on you." He was one of the most gentle, warm hearted person I ever met in a longtime and I was glad to have him as my roommate. Then Achieh came, my other roommate from Tiawan, introducing himself. Then we went all together to our first meeting as interns. We gathered in a room called the northeast room, Fatima was there, I, Achieh, Tenzin, and Deng. And sitting oN the carpet were Aris from Australia, and Riathaung from Nagaland, which is the northern east part of India. And also Mike from Kenya, he’s not an intern but part of the internship program supporting in many ways, along with Rufus from India, finally Kim from Kenya who was a participant at that time. She greeted us with different flowers and leaves. (I still kept mine preserved in my book). She welcomed us with great warmth wishing us a great journey and debriefing us about the center and what happens here generally.

That was the beginning of an unexpected and an unplanned journey…  At that time sitting on the carpet my mind was vague and empty, having no idea what’s coming and what was going to happen. Looking back then and looking at it now, I realize the beauty that lies in confusion and living the uncertainty, giving hope for the future, that you’ll never ever know what’s happening or what’s coming, just live it with an open heart, a will to explore, wear on those curios eyes, and shaky heart and they’ll lead you to wonders… Oh boy! Wonders indeed… To be continued…